How to Be the Parent You Always Wanted to Be by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

Author:Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Scribner

Part II

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Questions and Answers

Parents Ask . . .

Whenever we give a program on communication skills to parents, we stop at one point and invite the audience to tell us what’s on their minds. After a second of silence, hands fly up everywhere. The sheer number of comments, questions, and urgent concerns remind us how overwhelming the challenges of child rearing can be, and how despite all the ground we’ve already covered in our talk, there’s always more—much more—yet to be explored. On the chance that some of the concerns expressed by our audiences are your concerns as well, we’d like to share with you the questions we’re most often asked, along with our answers:

What do I do about my two-year-old? Her favorite word is “no!” Just getting her socks on every morning is an exhausting battle.

There’s no winning a power struggle with a two-year-old. Since you can’t change her mind, consider changing the mood. Go for “funny stuff.” Use another voice or accent. Put your hand in her sock and have your sock puppet shriek, “No, no, do not put those smelly toes in me!” Scold the sock as you pull it on. Insist that it do its job and keep your little girl’s feet toasty warm. Have fun continuing the drama with the rest of her clothes.

No doubt about it. Anything that’s silly, playful, surprising, or comical has the power to melt resistance and invite cooperation. It’s something to keep in mind for children and grownups of all ages.

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